Buying a Piece Part One: What kind of piece do you need?

If you're anything like the stoners that I know, you can't get enough stoner gadgets. Visions of grinders and ice catchers and colorful bongs dance through your dreams. Or maybe you don't own any yet, but your friend's bong makes your mouth water. You're interested in finding a smoking device that you love just as much. This is the post in a series about finding the right piece for you, whether you're a beginner or a veteran.

Though it is an oft-overlooked point, you should first think about who you usually smoke with. The size of the group that you toke with really affects what piece is best to use. (I will be leaving out joints & blunts, because they're not exactly gadgets that you keep around.)

If you usually smoke alone or with a small group, you should look into buying:

• Basic pipe, small bowl. This is usually people's first piece, because it is the simplest and most versatile. Most are made of glass, and small enough to be very portable. You can find varying bowl sizes, so if you smoke alone you can avoid packing a huge bowl and having it go stale when you can't finish it.
• Bubbler. Bubblers are pipes (again, usually glass) that force the smoke through water. It's healthier than some other methods but it is much less portable and stealthy.
• Vaporgenie. I reviewed this piece earlier, and it's definitely my new favorite way of smoking. It's stealthy, healthy, and doesn't create any smell. However, it's not good for large groups because the bowl is relatively small, the weed will burn if it gets too hot after multiple uses, and there is a learning curve for actually using it.
• MFLB. There's no really good reason that this CAN'T be smoked in large groups, but it's so convenient for stealthy outdoor toking that I decided to put it in this category. If used for a long period of time (like being passed along in a large group) it can sometimes get too hot for your lips.

If, however, you're popular enough to regularly smoke with a large group of friends (five or more people), some of these options might be better choices for you:

• Bong. Bongs are good for groups because you can customize them. Get a bowl that's deep so you don't have to keep re-packing it.
• Pipe with a deep bowl. Contrary to what I said about pipes above, some are constructed with deeper bowls and are better for groups.
• Volcano Vaporizer. That is, if you're super rich. They're definitely worth it, but only if you have a large income and a lot of people who would use it often. If you live in an apartment or house with multiple people, this may be a good investment to share.
• Hookah is marketed towards tobacco users, but you can certainly mix some pot in with your shisha.

Stay tuned for the rest of the series!

Best Christmas Present Ever!

I suppose it's a little late to be buying it for any stoners on your list, but I really have to brag about this awesome Christmas present I received in a Secret Santa trading game.

No, it's not actually Dr Pepper. It's what I've dubbed the Stash Can-- it's meant to look and feel like a real, unopened can of Dr Pepper, but you can unscrew the top (as pictured below) and you can shove incriminating things in there. Like perfectly legal tobacco products.

In my opinion, this is a must-have stoner gadget, especially if you live in a communal, searchable place like a dorm. Just don't stick it in the fridge or someone might try to pop the tab and drink out of it...

The Emperor Wears No Clothes

The legalization of hemp is generally viewed as a human rights issue, a constitutional issue, or a crime issue. Jack Herer presents it as an economic and environmental issue as well, in his history of hemp usage The Emperor Wears No Clothes. In it, he implores us to be like the innocent little boy from the fairy tale and expose the lies that the Drug War is built upon. In addition to supporting what I said here, he gives us lots of fun facts like:

• The word "Cannabis" has its roots in the world's first languages.
• The widespread use of hemp would solve many problems: it's more renewable than trees for paper, it lessens the need for petrochemicals as fuel, and it would provide jobs and preserve family farms.
• Before it was banned, cannabis was listed in marriage guides as an aphrodisiac.
• Ganja as a force for peace began as anti-communist propaganda. At first, weed was banned because of the supposed violence and disobedience it incited in racial minorities, but during the Red Scare it was treated as a communist plot to make us all indolent.
• Hemp seeds are one of the single most nutritious foods on the planet, and could be used like soy is now. Gruel is traditionally made from mashed-up hemp seeds.
• Chillums have their origin with Hindu priests.
• The fact that we have chemical receptors to which THC binds evidences an ancient symbiosis with this plant that humans have been using for 10,000 years.
• Temperance organizations, during the prohibition movement, recommended hashish as a substitute for the evil alcohol.
• Army tests administered over a span of two years show that soldiers who regularly smoke pot do not lose any performance or motivation.

Though this book was maybe a little dry, its nontraditional stance on the legalization of marijuana makes it an indispensable read.

Why Pot Supporters Shouldn't Use The Term "Marijuana"

This is a belief I've held for a while, although obviously I often slip and use the more common term. Unfortunately, I can't remember what I read that first provided me with this information, so I had to re-research everything to make sure my facts are straight. Most of it was gleaned from this article.

Hemp was the major staple of George Washington's garden. Hemp was sold in American pharmacies. Hemp was required to be grown by colonial farmers. So why, now that it's illegal, is it referred to as marijuana? The term marijuana has a short history in America, filled with racism and political intrigue.

Although the middle east has a history of hashish use, hemp wasn't really smoked recreationally in America until Mexican immigrants brought the practice with them into the western states around the 1930s. California was the first to ban the "preparation" of hemp, after Mexicans were observed doing it, and many western states followed. This was happening right at the time of the prohibition of alcohol, and the government was testing how far it could go banning mind-altering substances. Apparently, it found that it could go quite far.

Not okay.

In the east, the racism was directed at the black Jazz musicians. Their weed-smoking habits formed a central part of their musical sub-culture. Since they were seen as immoral and dangerous, this terrified the populace. Henry Anslinger, the rightly-reviled crusader against weed and the head of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics, is alleged to have made many racist statements, including “…the primary reason to outlaw marijuana is its effect on the degenerate races" and “Reefer makes darkies think they’re as good as white men.” No matter what the time period, these are not appropriate statements for a public figure to make.

Rumors began circulating linking marijuana use to murder and violent behavior, but it was obviously unfounded speculation based on the fear of other races. For example, newspaper tycoon William Randoph Hearst writes, "“Was it marijuana, the new Mexican drug, that nerved the murderous arm of Clara Phillips when she hammered out her victim’s life in Los Angeles?… THREE-FOURTHS OF THE CRIMES of violence in this country today are committed by DOPE SLAVES — that is a matter of cold record.” It's important to note that Hearst had much to gain, since the sensationalism sold newspapers and the use of wood-based paper over hemp-based assured him profits from his investments.

As soon as hemp was in non-white hands, it was labeled with the exotic term "marijuana," which the layman did not know was the same plant. William C. Woodward, of the American Medical Association, cited this as a reason to reject the bill proposing its prohibition. In the article I linked to above, the author writes,

"At this point, marijuana (or marihuana) was a sensationalist word used to refer to Mexicans smoking a drug and had not been connected in most people’s minds to the existing cannabis/hemp plant. Thus, many who had legitimate reasons to oppose the bill weren’t even aware of it."

Unfortunately, he was ignored and the bill was passed.

Though the term marijuana has lost its racist connotations for the most part, its history is largely ignored. It's important for weed smokers (just like anybody) to realize the implications of the terms that they use, and choose one that fits what they mean. In my opinion, "hemp" is the best term because of its historical use and its harmless connotations, but "weed" and "pot," though vague, are a little less formal and work just as well.